What to Avoid When Dating

Note: This doesn’t mean I am an expert on dating. I have dated a few girls when I was in college and I would like to share some of my experiences about it.

At first I was nervous especially when the time comes that you have to meet each other. I was always afraid I will end up getting dumped or she might not like me. I try to hide myself from her not telling her the real me. I was always trying to impress her. She doesn’t know I did this for her to like me. But what I did was wrong. As time goes by, I started to realize that I cannot hide everything from her. And that she’ll soon discover about me and I will end up dumped again. We cannot always hide ourselves from others and we eventually end up caught. Blaming each other is also one thing to avoid. When couples fight they tend to blame each other. This is not very helpful in a relationship. In a relationship you should learn to forgive and forget. It’s okay to have mistakes but it’s important to learn from them.

Is She My Soulmate?

I remember when I was in high school I use to hear my friends telling stories that they have met their soulmates. I can see them talking about their soulmates with a glow in their eyes. I asked myself, what is a soulmate? Who could be my soulmate?

I defined soulmate as a person meant for you…A spiritual partner. But still questions in my head started to pop one after the other…How do you recognize your soulmate? Can one plan a soulmate? Is it real? Whenever the subject of soulmates came up, I was always interested and eager to know about it. I had no answers and started to ask my friends who have been telling each other that they are now happy because they are with their soulmates. They told me that when you meet your soulmate, you feel like you have known him for so long. It is as if you have met each other a long time ago and meet again. Some say it is your partner in a journey of love that never ends…a special kind of love, a love that brings growth to yourself and the one you love.

So I started searching for that twin love. I was in college when I started to meet different girls of my age. I started dating some of them hoping I would find that wonderful feeling of having a soulmate. I have dated quite a number of girls but this one is special. Her name is Shane. She is a happy go lucky Fil-Chinese girl with cute chinky eyes and long black hair. She is heartbroken when I first met her. I met her at a coffee shop near our campus. She was staring blankly at the wall of the shop with some tears in her eyes. Concerned, I approached her to comfort her. I was afraid at the first time I took a step towards her. As soon as I was inches from her I begin to shake. It was the strangest feeling I have felt in my entire life. This was my first time to approach a girl crying and I don’t even know her. I ask her if she’s alright. But as I asked her that question she started to cry a little bit louder and I begin to feel ashamed. Luckily the store owner and the two of us are the only persons in the coffee shop. I was surprised when she began to tell her stories about her boyfriend who recently broke up with her. They broke up because she found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her. More tears started rolling down her eyes, at the same time more costumers are starting to settle inside the store. People looked at us with their brows furled. They think I made her cry but I didn’t mind them. It was then that we begin to know each other. We became close and started dating. She told me how thankful she was that we met and that she is back to herself again as a happy go lucky person. She told me that she fell in love with me. And I told her that I feel the same way too. The feelings we had are similar. I mean we both feel the same way. It’s as if we have known each other for so long that the first time we met was like being reunited again. For me, the trembles I felt when I first approach her was a sign. She is meant for me and I was meant for her. I don’t care what Webster says about soulmates. I know she is my soulmate. I believe that I have met her before in the past and we are destined to be together.

Is It Okay to Date Your Friend’s ex?

I would like to share my opinions about dating your friend’s ex…I hope to get some feedback from someone who is likely in this kind of situation. Well, here goes my point of view…

Is dating your friend’s ex okay?

Why not? If it’s love, right? I think that a guy can date his friend’s ex, but only after he has given it deep thinking and has talked to his friend about it. It’s a very delicate situation which rather should not happen to anybody, but in the name of true love and if the guy and his friend’s ex are meant to be, then why not give it a shot? I think it's okay as long as you tell your friend first and if it is really his/her ex. Well, if you’re really interested in the girl and you want to know her personality, why not? You can also ask permission from your friend just to make things legal. And if she badly needs your company, since it’s always kind to be nice and you feel happy to please her, why not? If you really like or love her, why should you let her go?

On the opposing side…well, that’s not correct! Dating your friend’s ex!? It’s like there’s no respect. I don’t think it would be a good idea to date your friend’s ex because no matter what happens she was still his girl. If your friend is really your friend, then he should understand…but also as a friend you should respect him by at least letting him know. Basically, it’s about respect after all. After the years of friendship, then it will end up just like that? There are still lots of girls, right? There could be someone better… Just find someone. It will also be really uncomfortable for the three of you even if you really like the girl. For me, if he’s really my friend, of course, I won’t do it. Just put yourself in his shoes…

But even if you really like her, you can just make friends with her but I think it’s not advisable to date her. It’s a way of showing respect to your friend. At least in that way, you won’t lose any of them. But if you already love her and your friend allows you to date her, why not? It also depends how close you are with your friend and if he’s really OVER with her. And if ever you’ll date the girl, just ask permission first from your friend out of courtesy.